I'm Back And Better than Ever!!!

Bet ya'll(that's Southern speak) have been wondering where I've been.
After that fiasco on Sanibel Island,back in January,I haven't been too well.
Let me fill you in.......
Originally,the plan was for me to hook up with MsBubbleGum(whore) and get things straightened out.Alas,that was not to be.
The first night,there I was, waiting for her at Sanibel Grill,sipping on a Corona,with JonJ and ChrisC,along with MsTootie,THE Pirate,and the Lovers(dontcha just love that name?)....... When in should walk(ahem-I should say crawl),but MsBG(whore) and that Johnny No-Face guy,like they owned the place.Being the better man/crab that I am,I offered to buy those two a drink.Well,run up the bar tab those lushes did!Crap-ola(thanks again,Kyle,for that word)!!!
And then that bum stiffed me for the bar tab!!

I cannot believe she has reduced herself to this! MsBell,you really need to straighten her out.

ChrisC told me,"Get over that bitch!Throw some lime juice on her slutty shrimp-ass and throw her on the grill!"But I think ChrisC was kinda taken with Johnny Whats-His-Name,tho.The whole danger thing and all.....

JonJ said,"I've had enough of this belly-aching over some stupid shrimp to last me a life time(he doesn't like shelling,either.What's up with that?).You're getting help!"

So,they packed me off to The Crossroads Centre,in Antigua.Are you people aware that it's run by THE Eric Clapton?How cool is that? Let me tell ya,there were some famous people there.Not gonna mention any names here.......

Anywho,I have finally gotten in touch with my crab-self,and have finally decided to say good-bye,forever to MsBubbleGum(whore),and get on with my life.

So,I shall be be off to Michigan to meet up with HoneyBear(not sure if it's a Ms.,Miss,Mrs.,or Mr.-guess I'll find out).I am going to take the hot tub with me,as I'm afraid it's kind of too cold for a crab up there in that frozen tundra.